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Dating
Home | Definition | For Her | For Him | Long Distance | Secrets | Poetry | Links |
Dating
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On your request, here is a page with hints & tips for people in long distance relationships, created entirely by visitors to the Spice Up Your Love Life pages. It is a bit short at the moment, but if you keep on it will soon grow into a very long list! |  |
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| I met my boyfriend online 3 1/2 years ago. At the time I was just
new to the internet and was checking out the chat rooms. After a few arrogant invaders who
were trying to "whisper" sweet nothings to me....I met Neil. He's from the UK
and I'm from the US. At first it was all the basic exploratory questions. Where are you
from?, what do you do?, how old?, single?, married?...etc. In his case he was in a failing
marriage and I could easily sense his unhappiness. Being the gentleman he is, there was
never any negative remarks of his wife. We talked about 2 or 3 hours and he asked if he
could keep in touch via email and I gave him my email address. We kept in touch on and off
for about a year. Him telling of his daily drudges along w/ his unhappy marriage and me
telling him about my freebird single life and the idiots I was dating. We seemed to be so
much alike and I really felt something in our correspondences. We then lost touch with
each other for about a 3-4 month periord and just thought he just gave up the cyber pen
pal adventure. He nor I ever spoke out of line. Never anything sexual unless it was a
joking gesture! He never made and advances or asked for "cyber sex", which to
this day don't understand the satisfaction!!!! HA HA! Anyway, one day last year he
appeared on my IM and he was so excited to see me online. He said that his PC had crashed
and just hadn't had the time or money to repair or purchase a new PC. About a month or two
into rekindleing our friendship he confessed his feelings for me. I didn't confess mine at
first. I wanted to be sure he was sincere. We were online w/ each other at least 3 times a
week. By the end of the year we had moved on the webcam and that was it! To see each
other's expressions, smiles, laughs....etc was the most wonderful thing! I do call him on
occassion. His voice sends shivers through my body! His marriage is officially over (not
at all to do with me). Now we keep in touch daily either through email, text msg, IM or
telephone. We are finally meeting in February. He wasn't going to come here until May, but
our love grew deep and he decided May is just too long to wait. He's coming here to spend
Valentine's Day with me and there couldn't be a better date to meet on!!! To anyone out
there who isn't sure....just go with what feel right. Don't rush anything especially in a
very long distant relationship. Patience IS a virture! Best wishes to everyone. (from Heather) |
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| I met my girlfriend over the internet just over 3 months ago and
as I learnt more and more about her background, her needs, her dreams and her ambitions I
realised that we had so much in common even though we live on opposite sides of the world
(me in UK and she in Malaysia). After a short time we were chatting almost every day and
very soon the talk became of meeting up. By that stage I think I was already in love with
her brilliant character and her warm personality and so I booked a trip to go and see her
in late November. I have to say it is the strangest thing when you know so much about a
person but you have never met them and I think because of this we were both very
apprehensive about whether the chemistry would be there. Although the initial meeting felt
a little awkward we soon clicked and I have to say I had the best time of my life because
I immediately realised how much she meant to me. I have never experienced something as
strong as this and all I can say is that this must be what true love feels like. I never
thought that I would find someone as loving, caring, intelligent and funny as she is and
now that I have found her I intend to work harder than I have ever done before to ensure
we are together in the near future. Because we are boh realists we know we have to have a
plan to enable this to happen and we're already pushing ahead to take control of our
destiny. So, my 2 tips would be that when you find the right person ask yourself
"would I do anything to be with that person?" and if the answer is yes then make
sure you act on the second tip which is to make plans so that you can be together becuase
beleive me, being apart is the toughest thing I have ever done BUT what you endure now
will make the future so much more valuable and you will NEVER take your partner for
granted. (from Richard Giazzi) |
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| I have been in a long distance relation for 6 years.. here is the
best advice I can give... 1. No matter how frustrated you feel always remember that this is not how it will be forever. 2. DO NOT focus on your sadness. When i feel sad I always go to the gym and by the end of the workout i feel better. 3. Keep busy! It's so important to stay active and live your life, don't hold back from doing the normall day to day stuff. I found myself not going out as much and it made me very low, doesn't help the relationship. 4. DO NOT feel guilty about getting with things. You cannot put your life on hold because your loved one isn't around. It's one thing feeling sad and another hiding away. 5. BE STRONG. It's so hard, and at times very lonely, keep good friends and family around you. I'm still in a long distance relationship now and it doesn't get any easier... I stay positive and dedicated because love conquers all and i am very much in love... Dedicated to my lovely man... Anthony...xxxxx (from Jasmine, Cambridge, UK) |
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| I met my boyfriend while he was on a weekend
holiday in London in the Summer of 2002. I was living in London at the time and he came
from Sweden to visit his friend. His friend was a client at the place I was working at the
time. While he was waiting for her we got chatting and there was an instant chemistry. He
was gorgeous and just had the best personality. We had so much in common. We dated for a
year and half and just broke up recently. This was mainly due to the pressures of both our
lives, dead end jobs, me moving from London and the problem of me never being able to go
and visit him because of problems with my passport. He was such a rock of strength but it
all became to much and I made the mistake of off loading all problems onto him as he never
complained and forget to listen to his problems. A good tip is to always try to keep the
conversations even if things are going in your life and not to ring to much only when you
have something to say. He would ring everyday practically and we would sometimes have
nothing to say so it was like he was ringing out of obligation. I really love him and miss
him as I always belived he was my one!! (from Edna Marie) |
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| I'm active duty in the Air Force (how's that
for a first assignment?) while my boyfriend is in the Air National Guard and going to
college in Washington State. After having known him for about 5 months (3 of those as
legitimately just good friends and cohorts) I got shipped off to England (great first
assignment, though). Anyway, a couple thousand miles of distance don't make it terribly
easy to get to know each other better, but we'd gotten off to a great start and there was
never any way either of us would have considered giving up that easy. Aside from writing
frequent letters and emails, and sending more typical boyfriend/girlfriend gifts like
jewelry and footballs, we've sent each other random little trinkets- I have a guitar pick
with "I love you" in glow in the dark paint, a very worn, duct tape (his
signature fix-it-all) wrapped deck of playing cards with the Mountain Dew design (it's his
signature drink), an antenna ball, some dried sprigs of sage (which is most of the plant
life around Spokane, where he lives) a battered lizard keychain and innumerable random
clippings, stickers and sketches. It's little things like that which become treasures. He
sent me a mix cd full of love songs- MXPX variety emo-punk love songs, granted, but
somehow even sweeter because of the freshness of it, because it's his kind of music that
he's always listened to and meant more to him (and therefore to me) than some old crooning
slow stuff would have. He really hates having his picture taken, but because when I
finally made it out to his family's place I mentioned he looked really good in this old
fleece-lined army jacket of his Grandpa's, he later had his sister take a bunch of photos
of him in the jacket (he even smiled on camera!) and sent them to me. On Valentines day,
he couldn't have roses sent to me (me living on a military base and all) so he drew me a
page full of roses and sent them in a letter. And he claims he's not a romantic... I also
have his football jersey from high school, which is very comforting to cuddle up with
while reading or watching movies or going to sleep. I remember when I opened the package
he sent it in I thought I could smell the slightest scent of him the instant I opened it
and thought I was just being pathetic until I spotted the jersey. If you can find a way to
subtly include your scent in some present- do it. 'S magical. (From Rachael) |
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| My husband and I met on the internet almost
three years ago. he was in Serbia, I was in America. After three months of chatting
online, I went to see him. We knew we were in love! I had to leave a week later, but we
vowed to marry in the near future. during this difficult time of separation, we were
online for hours and hours. However, what kept that fire roaring was:WRITE LETTERS VIA
SNAIL MAIL! There is nothing like seeing the handwriting. Send photos - email and snail
mail.... and....share the pain of being separated from each other. Acknowledging you are
hurting as much as he/she... is one of the important bonding elements. Anyone who speaks
negative of what you're sharing would not speak negative if they had the same
relationship>> so focus on what you have> If you have an international
relationship... Please accommodate for some differences in culture!!!!!! Even if you are
from America and your partner is in Canada or the UK. And.... Please have a sense of
humor.. If you don't have one....Get one. You will need this to ease some of the tension
and stress from not being together..... And the high stress of dealing with the dynamics
of immigration - if you chose that path for your relationship. (from Pepsi) |
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| I'm in the military so getting leave sometimes
can be a hassle (well that's what I told my girl anyway). What I did was coordinate with
her room-mate (dates I'll be home and so on) so she could make sure to leave the house
unlocked and so on. The day I got home my girl called me (like she always does) and I told
her it's gonna be another week till I can come home..... sorry. That night I prepared a
candle-lit dinner, romantic bath with floating candles and rose petals, and I transformed
her bed into a message table with candles everywhere.... and I finished off with a rose on
the door step. When she came home I watched her walk up through the peep hole so I could
see her reaction to the rose than hurried into the bedroom to make my heroic appearance
once she was in awe from walking in...............the night was absolutely magical. (from
Cooper) |
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| This is a romantic suggestion that's perfect
for Valentines Day, or just to be done randomly! For Valentines day I sent my girlfriend a handmade card everyday from the 1st Feb to the 13th, the first card was black with a single red heart outlined in gold marker, containing a reason of why I love her. Each day add an extra heart and a new reason, make sure to handmake the cards as this shows your put lots of care and attention into making them. (from Matthew Stone) |
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| As in many relationships, trust is a key issue.
And sometimes when apart this can play on your mind. Long distance relationships are
painful and can effect you in all sorts of ways, but as long as you are prepared to go
that extra mile to make it work you'll soon have what you most want, and that is too be
with the person on the other side. One thing I've learnt is that real pain is being in a
long distance relationship, knowing that the special person in your life is loving you and
you're loving them, and you can't be near them, to hold them and show your love. But
nothing is forever and as long as you can stick it out and stand above the pain, it'll be
ok in the end. There's a rainbow in every relationship, you just have to wait for yours to
show, but it will. Getting through the hard times can only make things better, make your
love stronger and if anything help you to appreciate the love in your life with everything
you have. because after all, people like us know only to well what it's like when you
aren't near the person you want to be with. Sometimes I think that someone is trying to
punish me. If I'm guilty of any crime, I've committed the offence of loving someone I
can't be with. (From Amy) |
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| My Fiancé and I live about 1800 miles apart
right now and to break the monotony of "I miss you" and " I love you"
all the time we have had to come up with some pretty creative ideas to keep expressing our
love for each other. One of the things we have done is to find a place where you live (i.e
a park, beach, woods or somewhere at/in your house) and use whatever elements of that
place to write them a message. I once found a little creek with a sand dune so I took the
stones from around the area and wrote " I believe in you." I then decorated
around the message with some pieces of ferns and took a picture. After developing it I
framed it and mailed it to him for no special reason other than to let him know about the
love. We also leave each other messages via email or voicemail every day to let the other
person know that we are thinking of them. The most important thing for us is to not let a
day go by without letting each other know how loved the other person is and how important
they are in your life. (From Shannon) |
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| Keep a daily diary about you and you're love.. or even
just about whatever has happened lately in your life. When it is complete, send it to him.
(From Sarah) |
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| My boyfriend and I go to different colleges. We started
dating around Valentine's Day. The weekend after V-day, he came down to my school to spend
the weekend with me. During the week before I had gone to Wal-Mart, and Valentine's Day
fabric was on sale. So, I bought a yard, and made him a pillow case out of it. Then, I
washed it in vanilla Bath & Body Works shower gel and sprayed it with vanilla body
spray because that was the scent I was wearing the last time he had seen me. He loved it.
He uses it on his pillow even though it has hearts on it and is somewhat
"girly." All of his friends make fun of him but all he does is tell them that
his girlfriend made it for them, and he has them spell it. Now, every time we see each
other, I have to spray it for him. (From Lindsay) |
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| My husband has been away for three months, with six to
go. We keep our love alive by writing a sort of story or plan for a future trip to Las
Vegas. I write a day and mail it to him. He picks up where I left off and sends it back.
We are in week two of our "make believe" trip, and with a little imagination,
it's been a blast |
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| When my boyfriend and I first got together, we went to
the same school and lived about 20 minutes away from me. Shortly after our 2 month
anniversary, my boyfriend learned that he would have to move back to Chicago, at least
until he turns 18 this year (2000). He broke up with me because he thought it was for the
best. We got back together after being broken up for a couple of weeks. Now, I call him
twice a week, send him emails every day, and an online card if we ever fight. Once in a
while, I write him letters and include song lyrics or poems which tell him how much I love
him. I've also learned that if you take a picture of yourself in his favorite outfit (of
yours) then send it to him with the inscription "this is what you left behind and are
now missing..." it brings him back a lot quicker... |
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| My boyfriend and I live 791 miles away from each other.
Upon one of my visits I discovered one of the sweetest things that help him get through
our visits. I had taken pictures of each room of my house. He had taken these pictures and
put each in the appropriate place in his house, i.e.: my kitchen picture in his kitchen.
He said that way he can picture where I would be. |
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| If you have a camcorder ask a friend to record you
talking to the camera. Record some important things that have been going on in your life
so that he feels close to you, and can also see your face. My boyfriend lives in Colorado
and I live in Ohio and this often makes us feel very close to each other! |
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| When friends and/or family don't approve of the long
distance, and think it's a joke, just ignore them. As long as you love the person, and the
person loves you, you have it set. Make sure you remind each other how much you love one
another. Love is the most important thing. It's what keeps a long distance relationship
going. (From Mike) |
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| Send a page that says I love you (From Shash) |
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| Send him an email with a secret message in it. Example:
type one line, hit enter, do this through the whole message making sure that the first
letter of each line spells out a message you want to send. (From Peter Groenendaal) |
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| my boyfriend lives about a hundred miles away from me,
and on top of that, our schedules are often conflicted. I have found that counting down
the hours until when we next see each other helps greatly. Last time, he started
counting.... So, my romantic hint would be to figure out how long between the next time the two off you have something special planned, like a date or special evening, and count them down. The farthest I have gone is 144.... and trust me, you cheer when the number hits the double digits. (From Angela) |
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| Give her a surprise phone call at times when she is not
expecting you or your phone call. Only say three words -- I Love U. It's really marvellous
surprise for a romantic lady.(from Asif Lateef) |
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| My boyfriend lives about 5 hours from me, but we make
sure to communicate in some little way nearly everyday. Sometimes he leaves the best
messages on my machine saying things like "this is your secret admirer calling"
or "congratulations!! you've won the most beautiful woman in the world contest!"
It really brightens my day to hear his voice.(from Rebecca) |
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| send "care packages", a card or a letter,
and/or a short, sweet message on voice mail.............very romantic and heart
sent.......(from Amy Johnson) |
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| My girlfriend and I have been a long distance
relationship for more than 2 of our almost three years together. The first year and a half
we were 100 miles apart, and now we are 300+ miles apart. I don't even know if you want to
put this on your page. But, I'll tell you anyway. We call for half an hour 4 times a week
(she calls twice, I call twice). We send each other cards in the mail sometime, and we've
sent balloons, flowers, etc. I guess the key is communicating with each other. We see each
other every 2 or 3 weeks, so I don't know if that counts as long distance in your nook,
but it is to us. I guess we each do our own things to remind us of the other. I play with
the web page I made in her honor, think about her often, and she thinks of me often,
sleeps with a teddy bear I got her on our first Christmas, etc. (From Brian Wozniak)
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| My girlfriend works out of town and I only get to see
her every other week. So, I mailed her my favorite shirt with the scent of my cologne on
it. That way she can wear it and think of me, and she can wear it home to see me again.
Which is a treat for me She is quite sexy in it. (From Jeff) |
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| Write a poem about him/her and send it to them with a
single rose. (from Dani Dahl) |
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| On you next trip to see them get there roommate/best
friend's phone number, mailing address, or any way else to get in touch with them. This is
key that you get in good with them and they will not mind helping you out. This works great because you can call them and ask them to do little things for you. Like leave a note on there bed from you saying whatever. You can send them a present to give to that special person without them knowing how you got it there. Etc.... I am sure you can think of a hundred things you can do with this. I have. (from Scott Novota) |
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| What I sometimes do is record love songs that remind me
of her and remind me of our relationship, and then send the tape to her. Also, explain why
you recorded each song and in what way does it remind you of your relationship.(from
Derrick Chhay) |
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For a visit to her city, plan a trip. Take her for a vacation to a
nearby city.Ê The getaway is great!Ê Get a nice room in a hotel, possibly a suite.Ê
Take her out for a nice dinner.Ê Plan a romantic night back at the hotel room. (from
Dan Kurtz) |
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| I dated my fiancé online for 6 months, before we met. I flew from
Australia to be with him here in the USA, and to keep the little romantic things happening
before we met, we would make each other wavs, like voicemail, and email them to one
another. It was so nice to wake up in the morning, log on, and get a wav from him. They
usually lasted 1 - 2 minutes which was awesome. We'd also send each other poems, flowers
and on ocassion he'd call me for 3 hours or so. (Another story) Even though it was hard
doing a relationship with someone I'd never met, but had fallen in love with, I wouldn't
change the way things worked out, even if I could. (from Xaria) |
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| My boyfriend of a year and a half lives in Ontario, Canada while I live in
California. For valentine's day I recruited a girl that lives in his hall to help me with
a surprise. I had her make a trail of Hershey's kisses that lead to a heart. Inside the
Hershey's heart I made a paper heart which said, "Derek, Now that I've kissed the
ground you walk on will you be mine?".(from Emilee Adao) |
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