The Unofficial British Royal Family Pages

Monday 7 February 2005

Peter Who?

As fascinated as I am with royalty, I think the only way I’d be interested in being a part of that circle is if I had all the perks of being royalty without any of the pitfalls. In other words, I’d be Peter Phillips. (Okay, maybe not Peter, but perhaps a female version of him.)  

In any case, the point I’m trying to make is that this handsome, well-adjusted, highly connected and very comfortably provided for member of the royal family does not appear to be afflicted with any of the more troubling side-effects usually associated with being closely related to the Queen and in relatively close proximity to the throne itself (he’s currently 10^th in line). For one thing, he’s hardly ever in the news, which means that the paparazzi are probably far from ruining his privacy. In fact, I think the last time he was mentioned in any major way in the news was in September 2004 when he was involved in a minor car accident while in China. Of course, People magazine named him the “sexiest royal” of 1998, but I hardly think that could be considered “invasive” press.  

To his credit, Peter does precious little to attract the attention of the press – a skill many probably wish he could pass on to his younger cousin, Prince Harry (as well as a few older members of the royal family). The 27-year-old just seems to live quietly on his mother’s Gatcombe Park estate, go about his work on the Williams Formula One racing team, make the occasional appearance at royal events and otherwise keep his social and love life (and he does not appear to be lacking in either respect) amazingly private. He also seems to get along with just about everybody in his family and is said to be a favorite of his grandfather, the Duke of Edinburgh. 

As for his past… well, that is very nearly flawless. He did well in school, both at Gordonstoun (the same school Prince Charles loathed) and at the Exeter University, and has always excelled at sports. If there’s anything even remotely resembling dark spots in his past, it might be remembered that he was questioned about a street brawl back in 1996 and was supposedly dating Laura Parker Bowles (yes, Camilla’s daughter) at one time, although he seems to have survived both rumors. Remarkably, unlike nearly everyone else in his family (save the Queen herself), he has so far escaped not only the embarrassment of being caught in any compromising positions, but also the attachment of any hard-to-live-down nicknames (i.e. “Randy Andy,” the “Duchess of Pork,” “Harry Pothead,” etc.).  

In the midst of all this apparent normalcy, there’s little doubt that Peter enjoys all the advantages of being the Queen’s grandson. As well as the obvious benefits of a healthy trust fund and a good pedigree, it’s also pretty likely that doors open wide wherever he goes and people (especially women) are rarely unfriendly. While I doubt he complains about his lot in life, I personally find it admirable that he appears not to have let it all go to his head. Naturally, I don’t know him personally, but his positive track record seems to indicate that he’s an incredibly grounded individual.

In short, Peter Phillips seems to be far too stable and normal to garner anything more than a passing glance from most royal watchers. And yet he is quite possibly the epitome of the ideal young, modern member of the royal family.  

It would seem that Peter’s mother, Princess Anne, should get sole credit for this miracle. After all, it was she who refused a title for her first husband, Captain Mark Phillips, on their marriage in 1973, thus ensuring that their children would have no titles. According to all accounts, this was done quite deliberately on Anne’s part in the hope that it would enable her children to live normal lives. As it turned out, she was at least half right. Somehow, Peter’s sister Zara has managed to attract the attention of the media, giving her slightly less than a “normal” life.  

Those of you who read my column last March about Zara, entitled “A Princess by Any Other Name,” know that I think she has typically gotten a bad rap from the press, who – at least until Prince Harry began to really make his mark – dubbed her a “royal rebel.” In retrospect, I think most of us would agree that the sum total of her so-called “rebelliousness” never amounted to anything more serious than just being a normal teenager/young woman. The real problem seemed to be that, around 1998, the tabloid press desperately needed some additional royal fodder and, luckily for them, Zara had her tongue pierced about that time. Since then, she’s proved to be a good, if not always consistent, target for any number of frequently flimsy reasons.  

So, although Princess Anne’s plan didn’t work quite as well for Zara, it does seem to have saved Peter from a lot of grief. That said, Peter himself gets credit for taking full advantage of the lead his mother gave him, which may make him not only the luckiest member of the royal family at present, but also – quite possibly – the most clever. Which is why I personally find it ironic that a recent poll on The Guardian’s web site asking “…if Britons were ever allowed to choose their own monarch, who would take the crown?” didn’t return any votes for Peter Phillips, although he was mentioned in the preface to the poll. Even Zara got seven percent of the vote (which, by the way, was more than Prince Harry got). I guess if Peter had gotten his tongue pierced, he might have been deemed more suitable.  

Perhaps that’s the problem; maybe we want some sign of imperfection from our royals. Not too much, mind you, but just a little something that makes them feel more like us.

Until next week, 

- Tori Van Orden Martínez